(Source: lmaoatheist)
If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That’s why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.
(Source: officialbioware)
rare endangerd species
is everyone here on drugs
(Source: memewhore)
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
my mom is crying because she killed a ladybug
Sounds like someone has a case of “nice guy” syndrome :P
ugh…. gross…
misogynists masquerading as “nice guys”
nope and nope
Sooooo… is the message the Nice Guy™ photoshop wizard is trying to convey that “Good Guys” are an alien species that feels entitled to invade the women’s space for its own edification, while the “Asshole” is a companion species that offers a mutually beneficial relationship?
They may have accidentally had a moment of self-awareness.
Pretty sure the “good guy” also eats those fish, hence why they’re avoiding him. The “asshole” doesn’t eat those fish and is pretty gentle to them, hence why they feel safe enough to hold onto them. What a nice asshole.
I expected this post to be so bad
And it was so good
Accidental irony is so, so delicious.
(Source: danishrene)
whenever i use only one exclamation point i feel like a middle-aged dad who just discovered the internet!
My dad stopped expressing disappointment in me years ago and just sort of gets tired now
why are blonde jokes so short?
so men can remember them
this took an unexpected turn
Not if you just asked for directions.
(Source: sendificator)
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
*cops knock on door* “open up the door we smell marijuana” WHOEVER SMELT IT DEALT IT i scream at the door. *long pause* *police apologize* *muffled sound of handcuffs clicking outside*
you know you’ve made a good pun when everyone’s immediate response upon hearing it is “shut the fuck up”
